Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Felling Like I Want to Knock the S#&% Out of Someone Wednesday!
I am not in a good mood today, and I really don't know why. I feel like just punching someone. I know that is terrible, but it is my mood today. Maybe it has something to do with the awful weather. It is rainy and hot, ugh, I hate days like today. But maybe it has to do with the fact that I am totally completely bored at work. I dont have any work and it is driving me nuts. Maybe it is because I feel invisible to the world,; this usually doesnt bother me but it is getting to me today. I dont know, there are a number of factors driving my bad mood today. Anyway, I really dont have anything productive to say, just thought I would share with everyone that I am moody today. I don't know why I am even wasting my time though, no body reads this blog anyway.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Men, Women and the X Chromosome
I have a lot of pregnant friends right now and they all are having boys except for one friend who is having a little girl (obviously, I mean she isn't having an alien). Anyways, this got me thinking about the sex of the baby and how the parents DNA make the sex. A tiny bit of research through google answered that question for me. The father's sperm determines the babies sex (which by the way is totally unfair, women as always do all the work and men make all the decisions).
I started thinking even more about this (I am really bored at work right now), and human DNA. Oh I should tell you right now that I am not a science person at all; everything I am about to share with you is my logical opinion on this subject. There was absolutely NO scientific research done what-so-ever!!!!!! I am guessing that because men have both the X and Y chromosome, this makes them able to decide the sex of the baby. From this I made a few conclusions. For starters, men need women. I know you are wondering how the heck do I get that out of the fact that men have both chromosomes. I bet you are saying that it is just the opposite, that because men have both chromosomes, they don't need women. I disagree; if God thought that women needed manly traits he would have given us both chromosomes, but instead he knew that a woman could make it without a man and that we do not need male traits at all. This is probably due to the fact that men are incredibly simple characters. I mean what do they really contribute? Just kidding (a little bit). Men however need women, the Y chromosome alone is not enough so God had to through an X up in there. They wouldn't be able to think at all if they didn't have at least one female chromosome. But because women have 2, we are super intellectual and therefore able to survive without the aid of a man. Think about it, women can do everything a man can do, but a man cannot do everything a woman can do, hmm...
Next conclusion: Men who have at least one daughter probably have a stronger X chromosome than those men who are not able to produce daughters. As a side note, I would like to now show my sympathy for those fathers who have not had the pleasure to be blessed with a daughter, I feel truly sorry those of you in that position. OK, moving on... Like I was saying, I believe these men have stronger X chromosomes and therefore have more female tendencies. These men are more likely the men who like to dress nice, who can appreciate activities other than but as well as sports, men who tend to have more female friends, men who can relate to and understand women. Basically the men us women want to marry. I think men with all sons (or men who have a tendency to produce only males) have a weaker X chromosome. These are the men who sit on the couch all weekend watching football and demanding beer. These are the men that us women try to avoid.
What I am getting at here is this.. If this can be or already has been proven scientifically, women would have a much easier time picking their mates. We could tell so much about the man that we are interested in and decide very early on whether he is worth our time or not. I know I have been in this situation and would have loved to have saved my time. Just a little something to think about!
I started thinking even more about this (I am really bored at work right now), and human DNA. Oh I should tell you right now that I am not a science person at all; everything I am about to share with you is my logical opinion on this subject. There was absolutely NO scientific research done what-so-ever!!!!!! I am guessing that because men have both the X and Y chromosome, this makes them able to decide the sex of the baby. From this I made a few conclusions. For starters, men need women. I know you are wondering how the heck do I get that out of the fact that men have both chromosomes. I bet you are saying that it is just the opposite, that because men have both chromosomes, they don't need women. I disagree; if God thought that women needed manly traits he would have given us both chromosomes, but instead he knew that a woman could make it without a man and that we do not need male traits at all. This is probably due to the fact that men are incredibly simple characters. I mean what do they really contribute? Just kidding (a little bit). Men however need women, the Y chromosome alone is not enough so God had to through an X up in there. They wouldn't be able to think at all if they didn't have at least one female chromosome. But because women have 2, we are super intellectual and therefore able to survive without the aid of a man. Think about it, women can do everything a man can do, but a man cannot do everything a woman can do, hmm...
Next conclusion: Men who have at least one daughter probably have a stronger X chromosome than those men who are not able to produce daughters. As a side note, I would like to now show my sympathy for those fathers who have not had the pleasure to be blessed with a daughter, I feel truly sorry those of you in that position. OK, moving on... Like I was saying, I believe these men have stronger X chromosomes and therefore have more female tendencies. These men are more likely the men who like to dress nice, who can appreciate activities other than but as well as sports, men who tend to have more female friends, men who can relate to and understand women. Basically the men us women want to marry. I think men with all sons (or men who have a tendency to produce only males) have a weaker X chromosome. These are the men who sit on the couch all weekend watching football and demanding beer. These are the men that us women try to avoid.
What I am getting at here is this.. If this can be or already has been proven scientifically, women would have a much easier time picking their mates. We could tell so much about the man that we are interested in and decide very early on whether he is worth our time or not. I know I have been in this situation and would have loved to have saved my time. Just a little something to think about!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Just a few thoughts...
Ok, I know I have been really bad about keeping this blog going, but a good friend recently encouraged me to start it back up. Apparently my life is interesting, who knew! So here I am, I am back in the blog business, and hopefully I can keep this thing going.
Those of you who are close to me know that the last year has been a crazy, emotional year. Quick recap: got involved with a guy that I have known for a long time, he hurt me (DUH), got laid off from my job, had to move back in with my parents, and I went through a period of self hating! I would have to say that this last year was the worst year of my life. I felt really awful; I felt used and abused. I started to think bad things about myself like: no man will ever want me, I am ugly and fat, useless, can't take care of myself, I am no fun to be around blah blah blah. You get the picture.
I really didn't understand why I had to go through all of that. I kept looking at the people around me and they seemed to be having happy lives, well they were atleast all working! Don't get me wrong, at first the not working thing was pretty cool. I could do whatever I wanted and I had plenty of time to take care of personal matters, but soon the not having any money thing really took the life out of me. I was depressed to say the least, I wanted to die.
I made it through though (obviously). In August I landed a job with a CPA firm in Manahattan and I am back to work! I am so glad to be working again, I feel productive. Believe it or not though, landing a job was only the begininng of my road to happiness. I was still totally bummed about my relationship status and overall status in life. I have been putting so much importance on "being in a relationship" that I tried to force one with a guy that I didn't really like. Sure he was good looking, but aside from looks, there was nothing there. I felt like he was my only shot at love though, he was the only person that seemed to express any interest, so I gave it a shot. Things went well for about a month and then they went down hill pretty quickly. Sparing you all the details, he moved away and I was heart broken. Apparently he didnt really want a relationship with me, I am not sure what he wanted, but what I leanred was that there were no emotional or mental connections between the two of us. Well we are still friends, but the lesson there was that I shouldn't have tried to force something that was not meant to be, so I only had myself to blame for that heart ache.
That leads me to the present. Like I said, I still had a lot of struggles to get through. Even though I came to grips with that heart ache, it didn't make my self image any better. I still thought that he was the only guy that would ever want me, so now I was really depressed becuase I felt like there was no one out there for me. I was thinking all the wrong things, I had no self worth!!!!!
So what changed me? Well step one, I got a job. The job did help. It created an outlet for me. I was no longer sitting and moping around the house all day. It got my mind off of the negatives and instead on work. However, when I had free time (which was hadly ever) I was still depressed. So I did what I always do when things are sour for me, I bought a book. This time though, instead of buying my typical fiction, I bought a book to help me with my self esteem. The book is Size Sexy by Stella Ellis.
Now here is the thing, I dont actually have low self esteem in the traditional sense. I know that I look good, I have always known this, I struggle more with how others perceive me. I know that I am an extrordinarily beautiful girl. I know this just by looking in the mirror, but strangers have also helped me see this. But the thing with me is that, 2 million people could tell me that I am beautiful but until I hear it from that special guy (you know that one you have been crushing on for years) I wont really believe it. But after reading this book, I woke up. Now the book is suppossed to help you like yourself and feel good about your body. Well these were traits that I already had, so improving my self esteem was really easy... I just had to start beleiving that others saw what I see when I look in the mirror.
Today I feel great about myself. I no longer sit and think that I will never be loved and accepted by a man because the truth is, if I allow it to happen it will happen. Now that I know the truth about myself, it is easy to be happy and project strong self confidence. I have already seen tremendous results. Basically, I can have my pick of any guy out there, but I am not ready just yet. I am still getting to know the new me, I am still pampering and showering myself which means I dont have time yet for a man to be in my life. When I am done being selfish and ready to find him, I will grab him, til then, I am just enjoying life!
I guess the reason I am sharing all this with you is for starters, Ijust wanted to get this off my mind. Mostly though, because I have not been myelf over the last year. Ihave been so down and out and all around just depressing to be around. I wanted to let those of you who stuck by me and really do care for me know that I am gettign better. I really do feel great, and allthough i still haev soem work to do, I have almost restored myself fully!!!! I also wanted to say thank you. I have some really awesome friends who really stuck by my side and helped me this last year, and honestly, I owe them my life! Love you all tremendously, I won't name any names because they know who they are! Thanks again guys! I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those of you who are close to me know that the last year has been a crazy, emotional year. Quick recap: got involved with a guy that I have known for a long time, he hurt me (DUH), got laid off from my job, had to move back in with my parents, and I went through a period of self hating! I would have to say that this last year was the worst year of my life. I felt really awful; I felt used and abused. I started to think bad things about myself like: no man will ever want me, I am ugly and fat, useless, can't take care of myself, I am no fun to be around blah blah blah. You get the picture.
I really didn't understand why I had to go through all of that. I kept looking at the people around me and they seemed to be having happy lives, well they were atleast all working! Don't get me wrong, at first the not working thing was pretty cool. I could do whatever I wanted and I had plenty of time to take care of personal matters, but soon the not having any money thing really took the life out of me. I was depressed to say the least, I wanted to die.
I made it through though (obviously). In August I landed a job with a CPA firm in Manahattan and I am back to work! I am so glad to be working again, I feel productive. Believe it or not though, landing a job was only the begininng of my road to happiness. I was still totally bummed about my relationship status and overall status in life. I have been putting so much importance on "being in a relationship" that I tried to force one with a guy that I didn't really like. Sure he was good looking, but aside from looks, there was nothing there. I felt like he was my only shot at love though, he was the only person that seemed to express any interest, so I gave it a shot. Things went well for about a month and then they went down hill pretty quickly. Sparing you all the details, he moved away and I was heart broken. Apparently he didnt really want a relationship with me, I am not sure what he wanted, but what I leanred was that there were no emotional or mental connections between the two of us. Well we are still friends, but the lesson there was that I shouldn't have tried to force something that was not meant to be, so I only had myself to blame for that heart ache.
That leads me to the present. Like I said, I still had a lot of struggles to get through. Even though I came to grips with that heart ache, it didn't make my self image any better. I still thought that he was the only guy that would ever want me, so now I was really depressed becuase I felt like there was no one out there for me. I was thinking all the wrong things, I had no self worth!!!!!
So what changed me? Well step one, I got a job. The job did help. It created an outlet for me. I was no longer sitting and moping around the house all day. It got my mind off of the negatives and instead on work. However, when I had free time (which was hadly ever) I was still depressed. So I did what I always do when things are sour for me, I bought a book. This time though, instead of buying my typical fiction, I bought a book to help me with my self esteem. The book is Size Sexy by Stella Ellis.
Now here is the thing, I dont actually have low self esteem in the traditional sense. I know that I look good, I have always known this, I struggle more with how others perceive me. I know that I am an extrordinarily beautiful girl. I know this just by looking in the mirror, but strangers have also helped me see this. But the thing with me is that, 2 million people could tell me that I am beautiful but until I hear it from that special guy (you know that one you have been crushing on for years) I wont really believe it. But after reading this book, I woke up. Now the book is suppossed to help you like yourself and feel good about your body. Well these were traits that I already had, so improving my self esteem was really easy... I just had to start beleiving that others saw what I see when I look in the mirror.
Today I feel great about myself. I no longer sit and think that I will never be loved and accepted by a man because the truth is, if I allow it to happen it will happen. Now that I know the truth about myself, it is easy to be happy and project strong self confidence. I have already seen tremendous results. Basically, I can have my pick of any guy out there, but I am not ready just yet. I am still getting to know the new me, I am still pampering and showering myself which means I dont have time yet for a man to be in my life. When I am done being selfish and ready to find him, I will grab him, til then, I am just enjoying life!
I guess the reason I am sharing all this with you is for starters, Ijust wanted to get this off my mind. Mostly though, because I have not been myelf over the last year. Ihave been so down and out and all around just depressing to be around. I wanted to let those of you who stuck by me and really do care for me know that I am gettign better. I really do feel great, and allthough i still haev soem work to do, I have almost restored myself fully!!!! I also wanted to say thank you. I have some really awesome friends who really stuck by my side and helped me this last year, and honestly, I owe them my life! Love you all tremendously, I won't name any names because they know who they are! Thanks again guys! I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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